Autoimmune Disease and Self-Worth

Prior to my rock bottom and subsequent Hashimoto’s diagnosis, I prided myself on doing ALL the things. I went above and beyond at work. I homeschooled my kids, focusing on hands on learning, daily trips to the park, and weekly field trips. I worked out and trained most days a week. I spent hours a week volunteering at church. I never missed date night with my husband, even coordinating the babysitter. I never left dirty dishes overnight in the sink. I never missed taking our dogs on walks each day. And more. You see, my worth and my confidence felt completely intertwined with doing it all. Trying to be everything to everyone. Even as I battled undiagnosed health symptoms. I fought, and I fought, and I fought. Because who was I without all of that? I fought until my body refused to be pushed any further. Looking back, I stand in awe of my body and what it accomplished for so many years even as it gave me many, many warning signs to cool my jets. When I did hit rock bottom, struggling to get out of bed and barely function, I went through an identity crisis. I felt weak and worthless and not enough. In fact, I started my wellness journey not for me, but for my kids. Because they needed me. It took me time to realize that my worth had nothing to do with what I did or did not get done in any given day. It took me time to realize that I am worthy and I am enough…no strings attached. It took me time to learn to take care of myself for me.  Ironically, when I do, I have so much more to give to others.