The Realization I Did Not Laugh Anymore
My sweetheart and I try to go on a date night once a week – to give us a chance to get our minds off work, kids, responsibility, and to simply reconnect, talk, and laugh together. Date nights were nonexistent for a period of time when my health and autoimmune disease were at their worst. Then, as I began healing, date nights were still short and consisted of me falling asleep on the way home in exhaustion.
On one of these date nights, my husband and I were stopped at a stoplight, not talking, and I had a realization hit me like lightning. We did not laugh anymore. In fact, racking my brain, I could not remember the last time we had laughed together. Then, to make matters worse, I could not remember the last time I had laughed at all, or even felt like laughing. I could remember my husband laughing with our kids, but apparently my sense of humor was MIA.
Stopped in the car at that stoplight, I wanted nothing more than to laugh with my sweetheart again, about anything at all. Racking my brain, I tried to think of something funny to say. Desperately, I attempted to think of something funny that had happened with the kids recently. When all else failed, I simply decided to just find the sensation to laugh. Nothing. Nada.
The Search For Belly Laughs
All I felt was the weight of my autoimmune disease and the accompanying emotional stress weighing me down. My autoimmune disease had struck again – this time stealing my laughter. This was going too far. I knew deep down I had allowed this to happen. That no matter how sick I was, I can still find joy and laugh. I could not even find a fake laugh within myself that night, let alone a deep belly clutching laugh. But what I did find was my determination to launch an all-out search and rescue mission for my sense of humor.
I promised myself that once I found my deep down, belly clutching, embarrassingly loud laugh, I would hold onto it with all my strength, unleash it every chance I got, and never be ashamed of it again. It did not take long to find my laugh again, once I pushed all my resources into finding it. In the process, I made a new discovery too…laughter heals.
Choosing Joy and Laughter Every Single Day
Ever since finding my belly laugh, I unleash it everyday. I am not ashamed of it; I am proud. I hold my head high when I laugh so hard that I snort, because I am living with an autoimmune disease and laughing every single day. Even when I am experiencing an autoimmune flare, I look for joy and choose to laugh, especially on the hard days.
You can learn a little more about my healing story here.
Feeling weighed down by the daily realities of living with an autoimmune disease, and dreaming of a deep belly laugh? Here you go. Enjoy!
“A good laugh heals a lot of hurts.”
-Madeleine L’Engle
“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.”
-Lord Byron
