I have to admit, I used to hate the phrase “finding your why.” I felt like it is way overused, and it just plain bugged me. Little did I know that finding my why would be a crucial part of my healing journey.
Anyone can start something. Anyone can start exercising or start to eat healthy or start to implement healthy lifestyle choices, but there always comes a time where the new wears off and we are faced with burnout, fatigue, and boredom. We are left with the cold hold truth that whatever it was that we started is simply way harder than we thought it was going to be.
It is what we do in those moments that makes us who we are. It is the choices we make in those moments that make all the difference in our journey.
My Breaking Point
I was a month or two into my new health and wellness journey when I hit a wall. It was morning. Mornings were terrible. At this point, I was not feeling better yet, not sleeping well, had anxiety and panic attacks, would wake up with morning headaches, had mystery fevers, and just flat out felt terrible. I did not have an autoimmune disease diagnosis yet, but I was a month into working with a naturopath. I had started to clean up my eating, overhaul my lifestyle choices, and was taking supplements to help with nutrient and mineral deficiencies as well as Leaky Gut.
This particular morning, I reached up and opened the cabinet that I kept my supplements in, stared in at them, and felt the weight of my new life. Feeling overwhelmed, I thought, “I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.”
I stood there, having a staring contest with my bottles of supplements and knew I was at my breaking point. I was at a crossroads. In that moment, I could not will myself to reach my hand in to take out my supplements. As a result, all I could do was stand there, stare, and think, “I can’t live like this. I can’t do this. It is just too hard.”
Finding My Why
Suddenly, the sound of my children in the other room caught my attention. I turned to look at my kids; to stop and really look at them. As I watched them, I felt the love I have for them fill my soul, and had the distinct thoughts, “You would do anything in the world for their health. Why not be willing to do anything in the world for your own health? They need you. Do this for them. It is okay if you cannot do this for yourself yet. Do this for them.”
As soon as those thoughts came, I did not hesitate a moment longer. Reaching in, I grabbed my supplements, and took them. Taking another step forward, I cooked myself a healthy, nutrient dense breakfast. Everyday since, I take my supplements and eat cleanly without a second thought. I found my why.
It has been several months since I hit my breaking point. As a result of many days of clean eating, taking supplements, and healthy lifestyle choices, I slowly began to heal and feel better. My health is not perfect, but I am feeling better than I have felt in years. I am grateful every single day that I pushed through my breaking point, and found my why. I continue to eat cleanly, and to make healthy lifestyle choices. Over time, the amount and type of supplements I take has changed, but I take them everyday without hesitation. It is no longer hard for me.
Along with finding my why, came superhero strength I did not know I had. My strength has allowed me to accomplish things on my wellness journey I did not think I could do. Likewise, it has allowed me to keep doing those things when I feel like giving up. Finding my why was, and continues to be, an integral part of my healing journey.
Guess what? You have that superhero strength in you too! You can do things you did not think you could do, and you can keep doing them when you are at your breaking point and want to give up. When that moment comes, focus on finding your why, then draw on that superhero strength, and do not let go.
It is worth it. I pinky promise.
You can read more about my story here.
“Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do something you don’t necessarily want to do, to get a result you would really like to have.”
“The tests of life aren’t meant to break you but to make you.”
-Norman Vincent Peale
“Between peaks there are always valleys. How you manage your valley determines how soon you will reach your next peak.”